How to Defeat Adversity and Eliminate the Sticking Points in Your Life
We never know what we are capable of until we face adversity. This is a fact that is discussed and bandied about quite often, but we are rarely ever taught how to approach and overcome adversity. The tone of today’s entry will probably come across as slightly different from what you are accustomed to reading here, but today's topic is nonetheless an absolutely crucial one. In fact, I decided to combine two different topics into one: defeating the adversity you face, and eliminating any sticking points you have in life.
Before we start, I’ll explain what I mean by “sticking points.” To me, a sticking point is a difficulty or limiting belief you have that is holding you back from moving forward in a given endeavor. In short, it is something that is holding you back from accomplishing something in your life. Different people have different sticking points in different areas of their lives. For example, someone might have sticking points in his business, which hold him back from increasing sales and ultimately his profit, or taking risks that could move the business forward. Others might have sticking points when it comes to attracting members of the opposite sex. Nonetheless, sticking points exist for everyone, but can be dealt with and eliminated with conscientious practice, dedication, and a belief in the goodness of your endeavor.
Now, the reason I decided to combine the two topics instead of having two separate blog entries was that I realized that the two are inextricably linked to each other. Having a sticking point in life is a form of adversity, and facing adversity can in turn bring your sticking points out into the open.
But first I’d like to talk about adversity and how we can overcome it. Defeating adversity is a two-step process:
First, you fully accept what has happened to you (i.e. you have just been diagnosed with diabetes, you have less than $500 in the bank, you have no stable job, etc.), and admit it more honestly and openly than you ever have before. You admit it by verbalizing it or writing it down on paper and hence bringing it out into the open, and then you accept that those things have happened to you without taking it personally or feeling like the world has decided to pick on you. You admit what is going on in your life situation now as readily as you admit that the sun is shining in the sky, or that you are reading this blog right now.
Why? Because most people will avoid doing this; that is, admitting that something has happened to them that has changed their life situation. We have a tendency to want to shield ourselves from pain, or even from change that is not totally enjoyable. But when we admit and accept that this stuff has happened and that it is part of our life situation, and not our lives or who we are, only then can we hope to get over these difficulties. The reason that these so-called “tragedies” are not part of our lives or who we are is that they do not define us as people, and often times, most of these “terrible” situations are temporary and go away. In the case of an illness, even if it is something like diabetes and cannot be cured, it still isn’t a part of who you are as a person. Nobody can be defined by an illness, or their job, or what items they own. YOU decide what you are defined by, and it most certainly isn’t an item you own or a physical condition.
Second, you tell yourself, "Now that I have admitted to myself that I am facing adversity, I am going to do whatever is necessary to overcome it.” And then you fight, and you hack, and you claw, and you slice, and you push your way through this morass of desperation, sadness, pain, forlornness, financial destitution, or whatever else has happened to you, one by one. Now, I don’t mean that you literally have to fight and kick and claw things. I mean, figuratively speaking, that you must not allow temporary setbacks or a couple of unfavorable events destroy your life.
The best way to fight back is the two-step method I just mentioned. First, admit to yourself that it has happened, and second, do whatever is necessary to overcome it. If you just lost a lot of money in your business, continue with sound business deals and earn back the money you lost. If you have been diagnosed with an illness, do whatever is necessary to take care of your health and continue life as you were before the illness occurred. If you break up with your significant other, life simply must go on – admit that it happened and then bring joy into someone else’s life.
But the reason that the second step is crucial is that just admitting you are facing adversity is not enough. The more you take adversity and what people call “bad luck” without doing anything constructive about it, the more it will continue happening. That is why there are some people who have bad things happening to them for years, and they wonder why it won't ever go away. The answer to destroying this painful cycle is to become dedicated to eliminating our destructive beliefs and limiting thought patterns, and to become totally focused on what is going on at the present moment. And we do this by admitting what has happened, and then remaining in the present while doing whatever is necessary to improve our situation.
Here is the bottom line: You never know what you are capable of until you face adversity.
You might be thinking now, "What's all this nonsense you are spouting…my problems are real, and my situation is terrible. Life is not supposed to be like this. Life is not supposed to full of problems and pain."
Your situation might seem like it is terrible. But it's temporary...and just imagine the power you will have once you have conquered this. It's like slaying a fire-breathing dragon that has terrorized the citizens of your town.
Admit and fully accept your situation - and then take a broadsword to your troubles, with a passion, zeal, and understanding of life that would make the greatest philosophers smile proudly.
And this leads us to our next topic: eliminating sticking points.
First we must understand that encountering sticking points is a good thing, and an essential thing. This is because sticking points often appear when we are doing something right. Yes, you read correctly…they often appear when we are on the right path.
I believe that nothing good was ever created without having to conquer some kind of sticking point. The cures we have developed for diseases that used to ravage mankind, the marvelous monuments we have created, and indeed, commonplace everyday things like plumbing, heating, a clean water supply, and sanitation – all of these came about after we struggled and overcame hardships and sticking points en route to helping our fellow human beings live better lives.
Similarly, when you are trying to develop your business, improve your skills at attracting the opposite sex, or studying diligently to find a cure for cancer – you will no doubt encounter sticking points. The key here is to overcome these sticking points. And the only way they can be overcome is by continuing forward with an undying belief that you are doing something right and are contributing goodness into your life and into the lives of others, while also focusing on the present, and enjoying every moment of what you are doing.
Part of the reason we don’t overcome our sticking points has to do with what we have been taught from a young age. We are often told that certain things, or even many things, are impossible, just too difficult, or unattainable. We are often told by our parents, teachers, and people in society to be “realistic.” But my question is, what if much of what we were taught when we were young about being "realistic" is not true?
What if many limits are not real? What if we can change our own personal "universe" just by changing our thoughts, beliefs, and actions? What if we were just a few steps away from living a completely different life, on a spiritual, emotional, and physical level?
Ask yourself just what is possible, and whether you have been realizing this...or whether you have been living in a daze, with a surface understanding of this. I know I had been, until fairly recently.
When you have sticking points, it is best to write them down with as much detail as possible (while still being reasonable -- there is no need to write five pages about one sticking point), and then dedicate yourself to overcoming them by taking quick, decisive action.
You must literally isolate and identify the sticking points, bad habits, or difficulties you are having in your life, and pick them off ONE BY ONE like a well-trained sniper. Otherwise, at best, they will continue to linger, or, at worst, will proliferate. Focus on what needs to be done, and exactly what you need to do to overcome each sticking point that you have written down.
And when you get that kind of focus, it will almost be scary. It will feel as if an unseen force is guiding your actions.
And if something doesn't go your way, laugh at it, and then get right back on that horse and stay determined to get it handled. It's like being on autopilot, but in a GOOD way. Anything that doesn't matter does not get any attention from you and does not even exist in your reality. Any thoughts or ideas that you might not be able to succeed are similarly vanquished from your mind, as well as any negative thought patterns. You simply have no time or space for them.
There are those mornings when you get up, and you feel like maybe something is “off.” Then something else happens during that day. Your boss tells you that you messed up a report and that you suck at life. Your girlfriend goes into a hysterical fit about her cat. Some guy spills a drink on you at the local restaurant or bar. Maybe it's cloudy outside. You see a beautiful woman you failed to approach a week ago, now dating the guy who used to beat you up during high school. Something happens that day, or maybe nothing happens that day, but you feel, you know, your state is off and you fall into the doldrums.
And we all know how that is, since we have all been through that. It’s like playing dominoes, things just get worse and then you spiral into depression, or whatever you like to call it.
BUT, what if we were to interrupt all those useless thought patterns, and just do things our own way? What if we were to say "NO" to all the negativity and limiting beliefs that try to drag us down on a daily basis, and say "YES" to feeling present, and overcoming hardships on our way to accomplishing a whole lot of good things?
This is something that only you can decide for yourself. I can write all I want about overcoming adversity and eliminating sticking points, but at the end of the day it will be up to you to take action and decide to make your life as good as possible. And that starts with being totally in the present, and focusing on what is going on in your life right now, and being dedicated to working on improving your life.
So, in summary, overcoming sticking points, in my mind, is based on two factors:
1. Approaching everything you do with the hopes of adding value into people's lives, and the world.
2. Barreling through any and all obstacles, one by one, on your way to accomplishing your goal(s) and vision.
At the end of the day, sticking points are just temporary excuses. Whether they are biological, part of society programming, or just limiting beliefs, is not important. What is important is knocking them down like bowling pins en route to a glorious strike.
Monsieur L'Abbat, who wrote the 18th century book "The Art of Fencing," says: "Courage and skill often being of little use without a good weapon, I think it necessary, before I lay down rules for using it, to show how to choose a good blade, and how it ought to be mounted."
We live in different times now, but we still need a good weapon. This weapon is our state of being. And our state of being must be impenetrable! Our thoughts, beliefs, and actions comprise our spiritual castle. And our castle is impregnable!
I like this article very much - the usual way we behave is to see a quote , mull over it for a second, then continue as if we never read it. This is a nice reminder to put all the words we read into practise
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