How to Get Rid Of Excuses NOW and Start Living the Kind of Life You’ve Always Wanted

Posted by Arin Vahanian at 4/24/2008 5:10 AM
Categories: uncategorized
Do you give yourself reasons why you can’t do something you really want to?
 
Do you feel like your life is full of difficulties and insurmountable challenges?
 
Are you unsatisfied with the kind of life you’re living right now or feel that your life is uneventful and monotonous?
 
Then today’s blog entry is just for you…
 
Today’s topic is one that will hit closer to home than many are comfortable with, and this includes myself. In fact, I have wanted to write something like this for a long time, but I often wondered whether I would be able to really get my points across clearly and not offend some people in the process.
 
But I eventually realized that sometimes, it’s necessary to talk about an issue that is really important to you, and that when you care enough about bringing about positive change to people's lives, you should not let anything stop you from sharing information that might help people improve their lives dramatically.
 
So I have decided to write about how we can help ourselves eliminate one of the most destructive barriers to self-improvement and self-realization – namely, excuse-making.
 
The truth is that every human since the beginning of time has made excuses, and everyone will keep making excuses – the aim here is not to eliminate every single excuse uttered by every single person on Earth. Rather, it is to help people eliminate the unnecessary excuses they make that prevent them from succeeding in their relationships, in business, and in nearly every other aspect of their lives.
 
Once in a while, the excuses we make for not doing something are very valid and legitimate. Barring divine miracles, one can’t participate in a competitive sporting match with a broken leg, nor can someone become a billionaire overnight when he is dirt poor and living on the street. Success takes lots of introspection, patience, and passion, and we have to realize that if we want success in every aspect of our lives, that it may take some time to achieve it.
 
However, I have seen too many people, and this again includes myself, make trifling little excuses that prevent them from doing something that would otherwise be easily accomplished. From my personal experience, many of the excuses we make are just that – excuses. They can be easily eradicated and we can thus set ourselves on the path to accomplishing nearly anything we want.
 
I have thus developed a three-step method for dealing with excuse-making and making sure that it becomes a thing of the past:
 
  1. Catch yourself making the excuse when it happens.
  2. Reframe the excuse and either state clearly or write down why it is not true.
  3. Prescribe a course of action that will eliminate the excuse for good and set you on your way to success.
I shall now elaborate on each one of these points separately, as well as list examples of typical excuses people make. Then, I will explain how to overcome these excuses and spur oneself to action, and ultimately, success.
 
Step 1 – Catch yourself making the excuse when it happens.
 
From personal experience I have seen that we most often aren’t even aware that we are making excuses for not doing something. It is because we are so accustomed to making excuses that we aren’t even aware that they are excuses; we assume that life should be difficult and that these challenges are insurmountable.
 
But the truth is that the more you make excuses, the more excuse-making becomes a part of you.
 
Let me repeat that: the more you make excuses, the more excuse-making becomes a part of you.
 
And the only way to eliminate excuse-making from your life is to catch it immediately when it rears its ugly head.
 
However, an important thing to note here is that whenever you catch yourself making an excuse, you should never put yourself down in the process. The excuse is not a part of you – it is something extraneous and completely unnecessary. Quite often we utter excuses as a knee-jerk reaction, because we are not yet fully aware of the incredible powers we possess within, powers that would shatter those excuses to pieces and out of our lives forever.
 
So the best way to catch yourself making an excuse is to pay close attention to your thoughts, especially when it comes time to make a decision, take action, or try something new.
 
Some key words and phrases that pop up when we make excuses are:
 
“Can’t”
“Couldn’t”
“Shouldn’t”
“Maybe”
“Difficult”
“Impossible”
“But”
“I’m too busy/old/young/inexperienced/etc.”
“Should have”
“What if”
 
There are certainly more words/phrases out there that should tip you off, but these are some of the ones I have found myself coming up with.
 
Step 2 - Reframe the excuse and either state clearly or write down why it is not true.
 
Identifying the excuse is not enough to eliminate it. We must then reveal it for what it is – untrue and unnecessary. Some people like to do this step in their heads, but I recommend that you use a piece of paper.
 
Write down why the excuse is not true, in clear, concise words. You often won’t need any more than a sentence or two to reveal why the excuse is untrue.
 
Here’s an example: “There’s no reason why I can’t finish this case study by tomorrow morning – I often finish case studies just like this one in a few hours.”
 
This is the first step toward coming to the awareness and realization of just how powerful we are, and of all the great things we are capable of doing.  All we want to do here is disarm the excuse and not give it any reason to exist anymore. Once you have disarmed the excuse, it will be nearly dealt with.
 
Step 3 - Prescribe a course of action that will eliminate the excuse for good and set you on your way to success.
 
This is perhaps the most important part of the three-step method, because even though you have identified the excuse and written down why it is not true, if you don’t continue on a course of action, you’ll let the excuse “live” and come back to haunt you again another day.
 
So what needs to be done here is to write down exactly what you are going to do to move toward your goal, when you are going to start doing it, and finally, take action.
 
For example, if you have identified that you made an excuse about why you couldn’t finish that case study by tomorrow, and explained to yourself why it was an excuse, you could then continue by writing, “I am spending the next two hours on this case study and I am going to finish it well before the deadline of tomorrow morning.”
 
Another important thing to remember is that you don’t want to get tied down writing pages and pages about your “problem,” nor do you want to get stuck on semantics or start analyzing or thinking too much. The purpose of this three-step method is to get you to dismiss excuses that hold you back from success and get moving in the right direction – toward success.
 
Here are some examples of the three-step method in action:
 
Excuse: “I don’t have enough time to exercise three times a week – I’m just too busy.”
 
Remedy: “While it is true that I am busy in my daily life, I also have to admit to myself that I have some free time nearly every day. What I can do is starting tomorrow, exercise for 30 minutes, and repeat that two more days per week. I’ll still have time to do all the things I have to do, my life won’t be altered drastically, and I’ll get the exercise I wanted.”
 
Excuse: “I’m too old to learn another language or take up a new hobby. I should have done that years ago. Now it is too late!”
 
Remedy: While it is true that I am older than some people who start learning a new language or a new hobby, I am also younger than some people who have done the same things. If they did it, then therefore I can as well. Tomorrow I will enquire at the local college about taking a language course, and also get in touch with my friend who happens to be good at the hobby I’m considering starting.”
 
And now, I’m going to run this three-step method on myself, and reveal an excuse that may surprise you:
 
Excuse: “I think I’m going to hold off writing that blog entry about making excuses – if I write something like that there would be a lot of pressure to make it perfect, and besides, it might anger some people because basically everyone, including myself, makes excuses.”
 
Remedy: “While it is true that my blog entry may anger some people (let’s face it, not everyone is going to like what I write), I believe it will help many more people than it will tick off. The reason I am writing this blog entry is that I have a passion for helping people improve their lives. And if I can do that, then this will all be worth it. Furthermore, no one on Earth is capable of writing perfectly all the time. So I’m finishing up the blog entry tonight and publishing it right after that.”
 
So there you have a three-step method that will help you deal with excuse-making. While my method isn't perfect, and there are other methods/strategies one can use to deal with this part of his/her life that may be superior, I have found that this three-step method has worked well for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
 
I also hope this blog entry will help people recognize when they are making excuses and help propel them toward action, toward accomplishing all the things they want to do, and ultimately, toward self-realization and happiness.

 

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