A Quick Primer on How to Eliminate Fears and Negative Feelings
Without wishing to oversimplify the topic, today I shall briefly talk about some strategies I have used to eliminate fears from my life, as well as get rid of negative feelings I had.
I decided to write about some techniques for dealing with these issues, because I started finding that everyone I talked to, be it friends, family, or even strangers, were going through, on some level, exactly what I am writing about now.
One important point to discuss right away is coming to terms with these things that are bothering you and being AWARE of the fact that they are there, and not trying to deny or ignore them.
It is like aikido - don't deny, but rather, deflect. Take that negative force and send it flying! Out of the room, out of your mind, and out of your life!
Once you become aware of it and unearth it, it loses its power tremendously, because darkness cannot survive in the light.
However, I don't believe in digging up stuff about your past, because I think that for the most part it is entirely irrelevant and a drain on your valuable mental resources, which could be better used to live NOW.
Many people erroneously think that their past defines them - it doesn't define them at all.
Many people also usually blame their parents for their current problems. They blame their parents for being overprotective, not teaching them how to take risks, not spending time with them, and a myriad of other things.
Here is a controversial statement…are you ready???
That’s all rubbish. You can choose RIGHT NOW how you want to be!
Your parents, my parents, and everyone else's parents did the best possible job they could, given the resources, knowledge and experience they had at the time.
The past just happened, and whether your perception of it was "bad" or "good,” some remnants try to drag you down.
Why? It's literally all in your head.
It's your ego. You see, the ego thrives on pain, discomfort, and depression, because these things give it the strength to survive.
Have you ever noticed that every enlightened or happy person you have met has few ego problems?
How do you let go of these painful memories or thoughts? Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now,” answers it very clearly - by dropping them. "How do you drop a piece of hot coal that you are holding in your hand?"
It sounds simplistic, but it's really profound.
I used to have so many of these negative feelings over and over again, sometimes almost every day.
For years I battled with depression and I had thoughts that I would never become self-employed, never be able to travel the world, never be able to date beautiful girls, and that I would be poor.
Well, I now work for myself, I have traveled extensively so far, and I have dated beautiful girls. And I am most certainly not poor. So much for those petty thoughts!
These thoughts often come about because of erroneous beliefs and deep-seated fears you may have. There are a few excellent ways to deal with these kinds of thoughts and fears.
Many times negative thoughts and fears disintegrate when you shine a light on them and become aware of them, then prove to yourself why they are not true. Sometimes they also disintegrate when you indulge them. Here are some examples of what I am talking about:
Fear: "I'll be poor."
Solution: OK, so what? Then what? So I'll be poor at 29...ha! I have 50 years to earn that money back! I'm enjoying my life, because it's a wonderful process. I'll never be poor, because I have what every single person on this Earth wants - happiness and enlightenment. Who chooses whether I believe I am poor or rich - I do!
Fear: "I'll never be able to travel. I'll always be stuck in my little town."
Solution: Oh really? Well, when I was a kid, traveling meant crossing the street to go to the local supermarket; THAT was exciting for me. Now I can just jump on a plane and go anywhere in the world I want! Who chooses whether I travel - I do!
Fear: "I'll never be self-employed."
Solution: That's funny...the last time I checked, I was! Who chooses whether I am self-employed - I do!
And your past is just that - passed! Send it packing! It does not, cannot, and will not ever define you.
The Greek philosopher Epictetus said: "Lameness in your leg may affect your ability to walk, but never your ability to choose."
You essentially have three choices when you face any given situation:
1. Accept it, and do nothing.
2. Accept it, and then change it.
3. Accept it, and get out of there.
Most people think they choose number one; which is, that they stay in the same situation and do nothing about it. But in reality, they don’t really accept it, which causes great inner conflict.
Whatever you do in a given situation, you must first accept that it is happening. Only then will you have the strength to make positive changes.
I don't mean to belittle anyone or their problems here...but really, sometimes you just have to say to yourself, "I am whoever I want to be. I can set myself up to live the kind of life I want, and I can start doing that right now!"
You are a super being that has enormous powers, many of which you are probably not even aware of at the moment. But when you become cognizant of this, your ego is threatened, and tries to throw out warning signs.
"Oh wait, you can't do that! Who says you can work for yourself? Who says you can become a great martial artist? You'll never be successful..."
Just smile at those thoughts.
Here’s something I told one of my friends recently. He was battling with depressive thoughts and just needed to be reminded of what an excellent person he is.
“Do you really believe that you have an interesting career, are living in a megalopolis like Tokyo, have made good friends, have become so successful with women, have a great relationship with a sweet girl who loves you dearly, are a fantastic martial artist, and are paving a path to financial and spiritual enlightenment, by COINCIDENCE? Is that how a ‘country bumpkin’ lives? I think not. I know not!”
The past means exactly this - NOTHING.
You can conquer absolutely everything, because you are a whole lot more than just a few past experiences, memories, and thoughts. YOU ARE A SUPER BEING!
For years, I used to battle with depression. But I don't have depression anymore...not because I took a magic pill and eliminated it, but because I accepted it, and became aware of it. Then, I didn't fight the depression, but just threw a light on it and learned some strategies and techniques that helped me eliminate it.
I smile at it every time it threatens to come back. And it's eliminated almost immediately.
How do you smile at a little child who is running around at your feet, trying to snatch the ball you have taken away from him?
Have some fun...
And remember, YOU ARE A SUPER BEING, not a pile of random thoughts and images!
How did you eliminate your depression?
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