Super State
http://blog.super-state.com
Super State
How to Get Rid of Excuses NOW and Start Living the Kind of Life You’ve Always Wanted
Do you give yourself reasons why you can’t do something you really want to do?
Do you feel like your life is full of difficulties and insurmountable challenges?
Are you unsatisfied with the kind of life you’re living right now or feel that your life is uneventful and monotonous?
Then today’s blog entry is just for you…
Today’s topic is one that will hit closer to home than many are comfortable with, and this includes myself. In fact, I have wanted to write something like this for a long time, but I often wondered whether I would be able to really get my points across clearly and not offend some people in the process.
But I eventually realized that sometimes, it’s necessary to talk about an issue that is really important to you, and that when you care enough about bringing about positive change to peoples’ lives, that you should not let anything stop you from sharing information that might help people improve their lives dramatically.
So I have decided to write about how we can help ourselves eliminate one of the most destructive barriers to self-improvement and self-realization – namely, excuse-making.
The truth is that every human, since the beginning of time, has made excuses, and everyone will keep making excuses – the aim here is not to eliminate every single excuse uttered by every single person on Earth. Rather, it is to help people eliminate the unnecessary excuses they make which prevent them from succeeding in their relationships, in business, and in nearly every other aspect of their lives.
Once in a while, the excuses we make for not doing something are very valid and legitimate. Barring divine miracles, one can’t participate in a competitive sporting match with a broken leg, nor can someone become a billionaire overnight when he is dirt poor. Success takes lots of hard work, patience, endurance, and passion, and we have to realize that if we want success in every aspect of our lives, that it may take some time to achieve it.
However, I have seen too many people, and this again includes myself, make trifling little excuses that prevent them from doing something that would otherwise be easily accomplished. From my personal experience, almost all of the excuses we make are just that – excuses. They can be easily eradicated and we can thus set ourselves on the path to accomplishing nearly anything we want.
I have thus developed a three-step method in dealing with excuse-making and making sure that it becomes a thing of the past.
- Catch yourself making the excuse when it happens.
- Reframe the excuse and either state clearly or write down why it is not true.
- Prescribe a course of action that will eliminate the excuse for good and set you on your way to success.
I shall now elaborate on each one of these points separately, as well as list examples of typical excuses people make, how to get over these excuses, spur oneself to action, and ultimately, success.
Step 1 –Catch yourself making the excuse when it happens.
From personal experience I have seen that we most often aren’t even aware that we are making excuses for not doing something. It is because we are so accustomed to making excuses that we aren’t even aware that they are excuses; we assume that life should be difficult and that these challenges are insurmountable.
But the truth is that the more you make excuses, the more excuse-making becomes a part of you.
Let me repeat that: the more you make excuses, the more excuse-making becomes a part of you.
And the only way to eliminate excuse-making from your life is to catch it immediately when it rears its ugly head.
However, an important thing to note here is that whenever you catch yourself making an excuse, you should never put yourself down in the process. The excuse is not a part of you – it is something extraneous and completely unnecessary. Quite often we utter excuses as a knee-jerk reaction, because we are not yet fully aware of the incredible powers we possess within, powers that would shatter those excuses into pieces and out of our lives forever.
So the best way to catch yourself making an excuse is to pay close attention to your thoughts, especially when it comes time to make a decision, take action, or try something new.
Some key words and phrases that pop up when we make excuses are:
“Can’t”
“Couldn’t”
“Shouldn’t”
“Maybe”
“Difficult”
“Impossible”
“But”
“I’m too (busy/old/young/fat/etc.)”
“Should have”
“What if”
There are certainly more words/phrases out there that should tip you off, but these are some of the ones I have found myself coming up with.
Step 2 - Reframe the excuse and either state clearly or write down why it is not true.
Identifying the excuse is not enough to eliminate it. We must then reveal it for what it is – untrue and unnecessary. Some people like to do this step in their heads, but I recommend that you write this down on paper.
Write down why the excuse is not true, in clear, concise words. You often won’t need any more than a sentence or two to reveal why the excuse is untrue.
Here’s an example: “There’s no reason why I can’t finish this case study by tomorrow morning – I often finish case studies just like this one in a few hours.”
This is the first step toward coming to the awareness and realization of just how powerful we are, and of all the great things we are capable of doing. All we want to do here is disarm the excuse and not give it any reason to exist anymore. Once you have disarmed the excuse, it will be nearly dealt with.
Step 3 - Prescribe a course of action that will eliminate the excuse for good and set you on your way to success.
This is perhaps the most important part of the three-step method, because even though you have identified the excuse and written down why it is not true, if you don’t continue on a course of action, you’ll let the excuse “live” and come back to haunt you again another day.
So what needs to be done here is to write down exactly what you are going to do to move toward your goal, when you are going to start doing it, and then finally, take action.
For example, if you have identified that you made an excuse about why you couldn’t finish those case studies by tomorrow, and explained to yourself why it was an excuse, you could then continue by writing, “I am spending the next two hours on this case study and I am going to finish it well before the deadline of tomorrow morning.”
Another important thing to remember is, you don’t want to get tied down writing pages and pages about your “problem”, nor do you want to get stuck on semantics or start analyzing or thinking too much. The purpose of this three-step method is to get you to dismiss excuses that hold you back from success and get moving in the right direction – toward success.
Here are some examples of the three-step method in action:
Excuse: “I don’t have enough time to exercise three times a week – I’m just too busy.”
Remedy: “While it is true that I am busy in my daily life, I also have to admit to myself that I have some free time nearly every day. I watch an average of about two hours of TV a day. What I can do is starting tomorrow, exercise for 30 minutes, and repeat that two more days per week. I’ll still have time to watch TV, my life won’t be altered drastically, and I’ll get the exercise I wanted.”
Excuse: “I’m too old to learn another language or take up a new hobby. I should have done that years ago. Now it is too late!”
Remedy: While it is true that I am older than some people who start learning a new language or a new hobby, I am also younger than some people who have done the same things. If they did it, then therefore I can as well. Tomorrow I will enquire at the local college about taking a language course, and also get in touch with my friend who does happens to be good at the hobby I’m considering starting.”
And now, I’m going to run this three-step method on myself, and reveal an excuse that may surprise you:
Excuse: “I think I’m going to hold off writing that blog entry about making excuses – if I write something like that there would be a lot of pressure to make it perfect, and besides, it might anger some people because basically everyone, including myself, makes excuses.”
Remedy: “While it is true that my blog entry may anger some people (let’s face it, not everyone is going to like what I write), I believe it will help many more people than it will tick off. The reason I am writing this blog entry is that I have a passion for helping people improve their lives. And if I can do that, then this will all be worth it. Furthermore, no one on Earth is capable of writing perfectly all the time. So I’m finishing up the blog entry tonight and publishing it right after that.”
So there you have a three-step method which will help you deal with excuse-making, plus some examples of how to get your ideas down on paper.
While my method is far from perfect, and there are undoubtedly other methods/strategies one can use to deal with this part of his/her life which may be superior, I have found that this three-step method has worked well for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
I also hope this blog entry will help people recognize when they are making excuses and help propel them toward action, toward accomplishing all the things they wanted to do, and ultimately, toward self-realization and happiness.
How to Change or Develop a Belief System
A friend once asked me, “How did you come to believe in yourself and your abilities?” To me, it was a simple enough question, and my answer was even simpler: “I just did.”
Now, that may not make any sense to you right now, but it will by the time you finish reading this blog entry.
People have asked me about how they could go about changing the beliefs that they have about themselves, about others, and about life. And my answer has always been the same - in order to change a belief, you simply need to change it.
What this means is that you do not need any life-altering events, signs, or proof that you can have a certain belief. The belief does not come from any external forces; it comes entirely from within you. What you need in order to change your belief system, or even just a single belief, is the decision that you are changing your belief. That is all.
All of the beliefs that you have right now, you choose to have. I know this is admittedly a difficult thing for many people to understand, since they feel that they have no control over many of the events in their life. And while it’s true that we may not have control over every single aspect of our lives, one thing we do have control over is how we perceive any given situation, which relates closely to the beliefs we have.
So if we have control over how we perceive things, then we also have control over the beliefs in our life. All of our beliefs put together comprise our belief system, which is such an important part of our lives, yet most of us do not pay much attention to it, and let our belief system fly on autopilot. And this is not necessarily a bad thing, because it’s unrealistic and a waste of time to keep checking every single belief we have before we make a decision. What our belief system should do is guide us without us having to check up on it. But the problem is, for most people, their belief system is comprised of beliefs they don’t want, or are not healthy for them.
Now, the million dollar question is, “How can I develop a strong belief system?”
Well, there’s good news and bad news. The good news is that you can literally believe anything you want, and put anything you want into your belief system. Your subconscious mind will believe anything you tell it, and, if you program good beliefs into it, then it will remember those and act accordingly.
The not so good news is that developing a new belief system or changing your old belief system is not always an easy task, and one that takes time and effort. However, the time and effort spent on this will help you in every part of your life, and can even transform your life into something grander, more beautiful, and ultimately more satisfying.
How I developed my belief system is closely related to last month’s article, in which I discussed ways to develop true, core confidence. True belief in yourself and your abilities comes from within, not from accomplishments. Therefore, again, you have to love yourself and fully believe that you are the creator of your own destiny and future.
There is no one specific, magic formula for changing your belief system or developing a new one. But to change an old belief system, you can do what I did. Write down on a piece of paper, beliefs that you have, that you are not proud of. Then, change those beliefs, and write down a different belief incorporating that change.
For example, you may have the belief that “I can never start my own restaurant and be successful at it.” Write that down, and then change it, to something like this:
“It is my vision to own a successful Greek restaurant. I know that I am fully capable of doing so, and lack absolutely nothing. I have the belief that I can start my restaurant and make it successful, and with hard work, effort, and a good business plan, I will make my vision a reality.”
You can do this with literally every belief that you want to change. After you change those beliefs on paper, it is time to program them into your mind. Again, repeating them twice each evening and twice each morning for a period of two weeks will get you started.
To develop a new belief system, it is much simpler – just start believing whatever you want to believe, starting right now!
That may sound trite, but in reality it is more profound than you could ever imagine – you can indeed start believing what you want right now.
You don’t need results to help you believe, nor do you need any “proof.” The only proof is that you believe something fully. Admittedly, this is a difficult thing to teach in today’s society, which emphasizes results and a “win-lose” mentality.
But here is the truth – no one can tell you what to believe in, because it comes from within. No one has any right to tell you what you can and cannot believe in. If you want to succeed at something, then it’s up to you to make that happen, because no one else will do it for you.
And remember, to have such a solid belief system, it has to literally be a part of you, every day, every minute, and every second. It is not something you can switch on before, say, leaving the house, or before going to work. It has to be existent in every situation, and with every person you interact with.
Therefore, one very important thing to consider here is that the belief must come before the action. This means that before you embark upon something, whether it is a job search, starting a new hobby or sport, or moving to another country – you have to have the belief that you can succeed at it, before you actually do it!
For example, you can believe that you will start learning and become proficient at a new language. “Starting tomorrow I shall learn Chinese, and I will succeed at it, because I have the drive, passion, and enthusiasm which is required to succeed at learning a foreign language.”
I have used this very same belief in my own life – I speak five languages and am learning the sixth. You guessed it…Chinese!
I’ve learned Japanese, which is considered one of the world’s most difficult languages, and am now learning Chinese, which is also considered one of the world’s most difficult languages.
I’ve done it not because I’m a prodigy or I’m naturally good at learning languages, though some might say that I am. I have done it by putting hours and hours of effort and practice into it, along with the belief that I can learn any language I want to.
But don’t look at me – look at the examples around you of people who are successful at the things you want to be successful at. You will see very clearly that their belief systems help them achieve their success, and not the other way around.
You must remember that you create the enjoyment or hell in your life. It is entirely up to you and how you perceive a particular situation to be. Ancient philosophers such as Epictetus and Seneca were talking about this thousands of years ago, and now, motivational speakers are talking about it.
No matter who talks about it, the truth remains the same – you can create whatever kind of experience you believe in.
We have countless examples in modern society of people whose beliefs led them to spectacular and inspirational achievements. One of my heroes is the hockey player Wayne Gretzky. Although he was considered a hockey prodigy when he was very young, many critics claimed he was too small and thin to play in the NHL, and that he would never make it in the big leagues.
Gretzky proved them wrong, as he practiced nearly five hours a day and never quit. He thus became the greatest hockey player of all time and set more individual records in his sport than any other athlete in their respective sport.
In spite of his great abilities, had Gretzky not fully believed in himself, there is no way he could have become the greatest player of all time. We often see athletes who have tremendous natural ability, but who falter and consequently do not become anywhere near as good as they could have been.
But the fact that someone is successful is not important – it is the belief he has inside that is important, and which makes him successful.
So, to sum up this article, I’ll give you a variation of a famous quote from Henry Ford: “Whether you BELIEVE you can or BELIEVE you can’t, you’re right.”
How to Build True, Lasting Confidence
Do you know what ONE character trait all very successful people have in common?
You most likely already know…when we look at really successful people, we almost always see a strong sense of confidence within them.
So how can one develop a strong sense of confidence within him or herself, especially if one hasn’t had the kind of “success” that seems to be requisite for having true confidence?
This is a question I’ve certainly been asked before, and I'll start off by saying, the good news is that your question is absolutely the easiest one for me to answer. Yet it is also the most difficult...because honestly, it doesn't depend on me. All of this depends on you.
Building true confidence comes from a really foundational change within yourself. Not necessarily changing everything about yourself, but changing a few core, key beliefs that will be a part of the foundation of your spiritual and mental "castle."
So here is the foundation that I base absolutely everything on, when it comes to building and keeping true confidence.
Do you want to hear it?
It's so simple that it's embarrassing...
You have to LOVE yourself. Absolutely. 100 percent. In everything you do. In everything you say. There can't be any room for not absolutely loving everything about yourself. Whether it's the way you walk to your car in the morning, whether it's the things you say to the cashier at the local supermarket, whether it's the way you sit down on the sofa to read a book, you have to love every inch of yourself. Notice how I didn't talk about accomplishments in this paragraph, but rather, everyday, mundane things.
That’s because, contrary to public belief, confidence doesn't come from accomplishments. I always chuckle when I hear someone say, "I got really confident after I scored that goal/got that promotion at work/met that beautiful girl, etc." What he had was not confidence, but a short feeling of elation after accomplishing a goal he had, which is nice. But that's not everlasting. It's temporary. And that's not what we are looking for. What we are looking for is PERMANENT confidence.
Confidence that comes from externals is fleeting, insecure, and ego-driven. We all know this to be true, because what happens when that same person has a bad experience next time? He feels down and depressed.
He has to have that confidence before he even gets on the pitch to play a game, whether he meets five beautiful women, or none, and whether he gets a promotion or not. He has to have that confidence before he even wakes up in the morning, whether he is a professional hockey player or just on the high school team. His confidence is not related to results. His confidence is related to HIMSELF.
Externals can never bring, true, everlasting confidence, because confidence is not something that can come from the outside, from other people or outside forces.
This is probably the most difficult, yet most crucial thing to teach when it comes to confidence – that the belief comes first, not the accomplishments!
To build this kind of solid confidence, here are three points I’d like you to focus on:
1. You have to love yourself regardless of what may have happened in the past, or how you viewed yourself in the past.
2. You have to love yourself whether you have had that so-called “success” in your life so far or not.
3. You have to love yourself regardless of the way things seem to be right now, because you can change anything you want, right now.
Really take a few moments and think about these three points...I will go into each one of these in more detail now.
In regards to point #1, this is a prime area, because many people really believe that their past makes them who they are today – which is simply not true.
Their PRESENT is what makes them who they are TODAY. How on Earth could something that happened years or months ago have any bearing on who they are today, because even as Heraclites pointed out thousands of years ago, things are always in "flux," things are always changing. You are not the same person you were, even last night.
You're literally MINUTES away from becoming the kind of person you want.
Don't be concerned with what happened in the past, and I know it easy for me to sit here and tell you that, but, believe me...you've no time for fretting about the past. You can only live right now.
Every moment spent thinking about the past takes away an opportunity to enjoy the present. You can only experience the present moment, you can only experience today. All the rest is either a memory or has not yet come.
Now, point #2...this one is a bit tougher, and probably took me the most time to conquer and bury.
We live in a society where "all or none", or "black and white" thinking prevail.
I mean, it's either, "you get that result" or "you don't get that result."
This is a disastrous way of looking at things. No wonder people are depressed, because their identity and self worth are tied into things outside of themselves!
That’s pretty ridiculous, if you ask me! They like themselves based on a reaction or "result" they get from a particular situation!
The truth is, you must love yourself regardless of what people think about you, regardless of whether you are a high-profile lawyer or a schoolteacher, regardless of whether you have $1,000,000 in the bank or $100 in the bank.
You might say, "Yes, but getting good results is what determines whether I’m successful in life!”
I'd reply to that, "You're good with or without that so-called success. What is good? It's a word, a 'title' you put on yourself. Only that. Nothing more. It's created by YOU. Good is only what you determine it to be.”
The biggest determinant of whether you will succeed in life, is how much you love yourself, and how little you need results in order to make you happy.
Finally, point #3. Did you know that....absolutely nothing ties you down right now?
You have no problems.
Wow...how rude of me to say that, to claim that someone else has no problems! How can I claim to know that?
It is this...RIGHT NOW, at this very moment, you have no problems. You are healthy, right now. You are alive, right now. You have food to eat, right now. You have clothes to wear, right now. You have shelter, a roof over your head, right now.
What is lacking?
NOTHING.
What you need is a full realization that you can do whatever you want, right now.
You have to really look at what YOU want out of life.
What do you want to do? It's your choice. In a few years, you and I will be no more, on this physical plane, on this planet Earth. Of course we will exist in other forms, perhaps be in another place.
But not in this same place, on this same Earth, in this same body, at this same time.
You're here for a reason...that is to fulfill your purpose, enjoy every good thing this physical Earth has to offer, while fully manifesting the spiritual, undying, powerful side of you to bring about positive, lasting change in yourself and in others.
Take a look outside...it's all perfect. The way the trees move. The way the sky is blue. It's all there for a reason. So are you.
Why not start today building the kind of life you want?
You want to work your way up in the company you're in now? Go for it!
You want to sail a boat around the cape of South Africa ? You do that!
You want to go live somewhere exotic? You can do it if you believe you can!
After you’ve applied the three points I mentioned earlier, and really integrated them within yourself, you will not only feel more confident, you will most definitely BE more confident. And that’s what we are looking for here, a true, lasting confidence that doesn’t wane or go away.
I can tell you from personal experience, and by observing countless other successful people, that this is possible and within your grasp. You need only claim what is rightfully yours – lasting, powerful confidence is a part of you right now if you choose it to be!
How One Quote Can Change Your Life
Here is a quote by Mahatma Gandhi that changed my life for the better, changed the way I interact with people, and helped me add good and positive things in my relationships and in the world around me. I have implemented this into my daily life, with amazing results:
"You must be the change you want to see in the world."
I believe that if everyone implemented this belief into their lives, we would have much better relationships, we could significantly reduce crime, violence, and hatred, and we would see many more happy people, who in turn would contribute positively to the world and be a lot more likely to help others around them.
The best way to implement this belief into your life is a three-step process, which I found worked very well for me.
1. For starters, I would like you to repeat that quote several times right now, focusing on each word. Repeat it at normal speed, and really feel what it means to be a beacon of positive change, in your life and in everyone else’s as well.
If it helps, sit or stand in front of a mirror and repeat the quote to yourself, while looking in the mirror. What this will do is reinforce to yourself that you are a person who inspires positive change in others, and will solidify this belief into the core identity of who you are as a person.
2. Write the quote down on a piece of paper or type it out, and post it somewhere where you will see it every day. Posting it on the wall above your desk or on your refrigerator will work very well, as you go to those places every day.
3. Every night before you go to bed, and every morning when you wake up, repeat that quote out loud to yourself twice.
Do this for a period of two weeks, and if you find yourself really acting consistently with that statement, then you can forego this last step, as it has already been implanted into your belief system.
Essentially, every interaction you have with other humans...every discussion you have with your friends or family...every action that you do on a daily basis, should take into consideration that quote.
For example:
Other people are boring, you think? Then YOU be interesting and fun.
Other people have small-town mentalities? YOU have a big-town mentality, full of vibrancy, open-mindedness, and action!
Other people work too much? YOU don't work too much.
Other people are negative? YOU be positive.
Other people are impatient? YOU be patient.
Other people fight and drink? YOU make love.
Other people worry about money? YOU don't worry about money.
With everything you do or even everything you think, ask yourself, "Am I being the change that I want to see in my life, and the world?"
In the beginning, you will have to take a magnifying glass, a microscopic lens to your daily thoughts and actions, and see where you are putting your attention and focus. Otherwise, from my personal experience as well as observing countless others, it's right back to the negativity, chaos, and hatred that dominates many peoples’ lives.
I won’t talk too much about the subconscious mind here (indeed, a topic of such great importance deserves its own discussion, which I will devote some space to in this blog in the near future), but basically, your subconscious mind will do whatever you program it to do, and will believe anything you put in it.
So, for example, if somebody else cuts you off while you are driving, and you say to yourself, “I'll KILL that guy who just cut me off!", it's obvious that you don't actually MEAN it...but your subconscious doesn't know that. It only knows how to follow orders.
So what happens is, that negative statement gets programmed into your mind, without you even realizing it! And what happens after that is you harbor intense negativity and pain, and it gets manifested into your daily life.
If while driving, you do happen to get cut off by another person, you can say or think this instead: "Well, I'm glad I am safe and that the other person is also safe. He must have a very important matter to attend. I know he means no harm, and that could happen to anyone. In any case, I wish him all the best.”
Again, your subconscious mind does not know the different between negative and positive thoughts or statements. It just takes in whatever you give it, and implants beliefs accordingly into your mind.
So why not feed positive, good thoughts to subconscious mind, ones that will make your life, as well other peoples’ lives, joyful, interesting, and good?
It works like this: Garbage in, garbage out. Quality in, quality out!
In conclusion, that quote by Gandhi has single-handedly helped make my belief system and life a lot more positive, improved my relationships and interactions with other people, and created a lot more happiness in my life.
Remember…You must be the change you want to see in the world!
Try implementing this statement into your belief system for a period of one week, and you will see many interesting and fantastic changes take place...
A Quick Primer on How to Eliminate Fears and Bad Feelings
Without wishing to over-simplify the topic, today I shall briefly talk about some successful methods I have used to eliminate fears from my life, as well as get rid of bad feelings I had.
I decided to come up with and write some techniques on dealing with this issue, because I started finding that everyone I talked to, be it friends, family, or even strangers, were going through, on some level, exactly what I am talking about now.
One important point to discuss right away is, coming to terms with these things that are bothering you and being AWARE of the fact that they are there, and not trying to deny or ignore them.
It is like aikido - don't deny, but rather, deflect. Take that negative force and send it flying! Out of the room, out of your mind, and out of your life!
Once you become aware of it and unearth it, it loses its power tremendously, because darkness cannot survive in the light.
However, I don't believe in digging up stuff about your past, because I think for the most part it is entirely irrelevant and a drain on your valuable spiritual resources, which could be better used to live NOW.
Many people erroneously think that their past defines them - it doesn't define them at all.
Many people also normally blame their parents for their current problems. They blame their parents for being over-protective, not teaching them how to take risks, not spending time with them, or a myriad of other things.
Here is a controversial statement…are you ready???
That’s all rubbish. You can choose RIGHT NOW how you want to be!
Your parents, my parents, and everyone else's parents did the best possible job they could, given the resources, knowledge and experience they had at the time.
The past just happened, and whether your perception of it was "bad" or "good,” some remnants of it remain, and try to drag you down.
Why? It's literally all in your head.
It's your ego. You see, the ego thrives on pain, discomfort, and depression, because these things give it the strength to survive.
Have you ever noticed that every single enlightened or happy person you have ever met has little or no ego problems?
How do you let go of these painful memories or thoughts? Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now,” answers it very simply - "you let of go of it, as you would let go of a hot coal."
It sounds simplistic, but it's really profound.
I had so many of these "bad feelings" over and over again, sometimes almost every day.
For years I battled with depression and sometimes suicidal thoughts and I had the false beliefs, or rather ideas or thoughts, that I would never become self-employed, be able to travel the world, be able to date beautiful girls, and that I would be poor. Yes, I actually had those insane thoughts going on through my head!
Well, I now work for myself, I have traveled extensively so far, and I have dated beautiful girls. And I am most certainly not poor. So much for those petty thoughts!
These thoughts often come about because of erroneous and deep-seated fears you may have. There is an excellent way to deal with these “fears.”
Many times fears disintegrate when you shine light on them and become aware of them. Sometimes they also disintegrate when you indulge them. Here is an example of what I am talking about:
Fear: "I'll be poor."
Solution: OK, so what? Then what? So I'll be poor at 29...ha! I have 50 years to earn that money back! I'm enjoying my life and loving every moment of it. I'll never be poor, because I have what every single person on this earth wants - happiness and enlightenment. Who chooses whether I believe I am poor or rich - I do!
Fear: "I'll never be able to travel. I'll always be stuck in my little town."
Solution: Oh really? Well, when I was a kid, traveling meant crossing the street to the market; THAT was exciting for me. Now I can just jump on a plane for a few hundred dollars and go anywhere in the world I want! Who chooses whether I travel - I do!
Fear: "I'll never be self-employed."
Solution: That's funny...the last time I looked in the mirror, I was! Who chooses whether I am self-employed - I do!
And your past is just that - passed! Send it packing! It does not, cannot, and will not ever define you.
The excellent ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus said: "Lameness in your leg may affect your ability to walk, but never your ability to choose."
You essentially have three choices when you face any given situation:
1. Accept it, and do nothing
2. Accept it, and then change it
3. Accept it, and get out of there (I don't only mean physical locations, I mean all locations, mental and spiritual too)
Most people think they choose number one. They stay in the same situation and do nothing about it. But in reality, they don’t really accept it, which causes great inner conflict.
Whatever you do in a given situation, you must first accept that it is happening. Only then will you have the strength to make positive change.
I don't mean to belittle anyone or their "problems" here...but really, sometimes you just have to say to yourself, "I am whoever I want to be. I am exactly the kind of person I want to be, I can live exactly the kind of life I choose, every day!"
You are not some country kid from a village in the outback, or a habitual screw-up, or a failure, like your ego erroneously believes.
You are a super being that has enormous powers, most of which you are probably not even aware of at the moment. But when you become cognizant of this, your ego is threatened, and tries to throw out "warning signals."
"Oh wait, you can't do that! Who says you can work for yourself? You are a country bumpkin, you..."
Just smile at those thoughts.
Here’s something I told one of my friends recently. He was battling with depressive thoughts and just needed to be reminded of what an excellent person he is.
“Do you really believe you have a successful career, are living in a megalopolis like Tokyo, have made good friends, have become so successful with women, have a great relationship with a great girl who loves you dearly, are a successful martial artist, and are paving a path to financial and spiritual enlightenment, by COINCIDENCE? Is that how a ‘country bumpkin’ lives? I think not. I know not!”
The past means exactly this - NOTHING.
You can conquer absolutely everything, because you are a whole lot more than just a few past experiences, memories, and thoughts. YOU ARE A SUPER BEING!
I always say, depression is probably the best thing that can ever happen to a person, because it really makes you appreciate everything you have, all the wonderful things you have in your life right now. It really helps makes you a tough person!
For years, I used to battle with depression. But I don't have depression anymore...not because I took a magic pill and eliminated it. But because I first accepted it, and became aware of it. Then, I didn't fight it, but just threw light on it and learned some methods and techniques which helped me eliminate it.
I smile at it every time it threatens to come back. And it's eliminated almost immediately.
How do you smile at a little child who is running around at your feet, trying to catch the ball you have taken away from it?
Have some fun...
And remember, YOU ARE A SUPER BEING, not some pile of random thoughts and images!
Some Recommended Books
People always ask me if I have any books that I could recommend to them, to help improve their mental and spiritual states, and help them live a more enjoyable life.
And I could list many such books, but rather than doing that, for the time being, I shall list four of my favorite books:
Letters from a Stoic – Seneca: This is quite possibly one of the greatest literary and self-help books of all time, still applicable to life in modern society. What causes us to feel frustration, anger, and all these other negative emotions is, basically, the way we are interpreting events. The way Seneca's words flow off his quill is remarkable, and if you’re looking for practical, beautiful, and easy-to-read philosophy, this is it.
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle: This book has helped me in just about every aspect of my life; financially, spiritually, and even in my relationships. The Power of Now really helped me get better focus, improve my interactions with other people and also feel much better about myself. Tolle’s message is clear, inspirational, and a pleasure to read and implement into your own life. Do not go another day without getting this book!
Feeling Good - David Burns: Originally written to help people fight depression using Cognitive Therapy, this book is immensely helpful in eliminating limiting beliefs and instilling confidence in yourself, using clear, easy-to-understand methods.
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living – Dale Carnegie: The enthusiasm and warmth with which Carnegie writes is only one of the many reasons this book became such a huge success. This book is filled with so many practical methods in battling worry and anxiety that I wonder why it is not required reading in today’s schools. The personal anecdotes here are amazing, and will really help you realize just how good our lives are today.
Stick to your purpose - and improve the world too!
Today I will discuss how staying true to your purpose will not only make your life a lot better, but will also make the world a lot better place to live in.
We are led to believe by some people out there, including friends, family members, and teachers, that following our true purpose is “selfish,” and that we should just be “realistic” and “get a job.”
As a result, most people don’t follow their true purpose, and deny themselves and the world the opportunity to benefit from the many gifts they have.
First, let me describe a scenario for you…
Let’s take three different people: a homeless man, a school teacher, and a CEO of a large corporation.
The end for each one of these people, at least in this life, will be the same: they will be unable to take any of their accomplishments, money or possessions with them to the next life.
Now, regardless of your religious background or beliefs about the existence or lack of an afterlife, the fact remains that you will be unable to take those things with you, whether you believe that one ends up under the ground, in another body, or in another universe.
The existence or lack of an afterlife is no reason to throw away your current life.
It doesn't make any sense to spend even one day doing what you don't want to, if you don't have to. Today we live in a society where we have no trouble getting enough food to eat, having a roof over our heads, and having plenty of leisure time to do what we love.
We really have nothing to lose, and we're slowly understanding that. Whether or not we listen to other people and just “get a job,” take off and try to become rock stars, or start our own business, the end result is the same, at least in this life. So why not enjoy these moments that you can't ever get back?
Some people tell us to not take risks and to not do what we love, because they have been taught to live in fear and have an attitude of scarcity. It's not their fault, because they have been taught to be this way, either by their parents, by society, or by both. What they need is to believe in themselves, and if they believed in themselves fully, they could share so many wonderful things with the world.
Here are some arguments they give, along with my rebuttals:
"But you won't have any money when you're old! You'll have to beg on the streets!" (Thanks for your concern, but I've got it handled. I have never had any problems making enough money, and I've never had to beg for money either. Money comes into my life because I follow my vision and stay true to my purpose.)
"You won't be able to have a good quality of life if you take risks now and run off and become a rock star or start your own company. It’s just too risky!" (Whether I become a rock star or a businessman is not the issue. The issue here is that I am staying true to my core purpose, and am giving myself the opportunity to be the best person I can be, and enjoying life in the process. Even if I don't become a rock star, I'll have some fantastic adventures to talk about. As long as I stay on the path of my true purpose, I shall be enlightened and happy.)
"All of your friends went to college, got a job in an office, are working all day and are making good money. That’s how life is for everyone." (If I could, I would go back in time and help them avoid the situation they are in right now. I would teach them to not ever compromise the great abilities they have within them. Instead of enduring a two-hour commute to go to an office and work 12 hours a day in a job they hate, just so they can perform the same routine the next day, they could be doing something they love, enjoying life with friends, family, and loved ones, and giving something extraordinary back to the world.)
"Life is not about having fun, it's about being responsible and getting a job and doing what everyone else does." (So you want me to give up and not believe in myself, do a job I hate and sell my life, soul, and happiness away, so that you can feel good because I am miserable just like you? I have another idea...how about you quit your job, just like I did, and join me in developing yourself into an enlightened human being, enjoying all the best things the abundant world has to offer, and giving the world our gifts?)
The bottom line is that no one has any idea how long they will live in this life.
Maybe my last day on this planet is tomorrow. But you can be sure if I do go out tomorrow, at least right now I'm doing what I love and I won’t have any regrets.
But let’s move on to another point here…why stick to one’s true purpose at all?
Because the reason we have such fantastic technology, music, art, health care, standard of living, and just about everything else that is good in this world, is a result of someone or some people sticking to their purpose and not following what everyone else did. And more importantly, not letting fear hold them back from what they loved doing.
We have reliable, stylish, and affordable cars now, because of people like Henry Ford and Soichiro Honda, who thought outside the box.
We have wonderful music and art that inspires us right down to our souls, because of people like Johann Sebastian Bach, Michelangelo, and the Beatles. Do you think Bono of U2 ever doubted himself when people told him to not play music and instead get a day job? Not only has he written music that has inspired lots of people, but he also does more to fight poverty than most people.
People like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have changed the way people look at computers, and their inventions have made life a lot easier, interesting, and enjoyable for people around the world.
They both decided to drop out of college and do their own thing, rather than “get a job” – in addition to bringing so much joy to the world with their inventions, they both help people and give back tremendously to the community.
You can do just the same. The world wants to receive the gifts of your brilliance. I don’t know you, but I am absolutely sure that the world could benefit greatly from your vision and your ideas.
The time to take action is NOW, not when one has retired and realizes that he played it safe and never got anywhere and never had any experiences to talk about. Boredom and not actualizing oneself are far worse enemies than than poverty.
The time to live is NOW.
Right now.
Don’t wait another day to start living life according to your true purpose. The world needs people like you, to help it advance, improve life and give happiness not only to yourself, but others as well.
We essentially have two choices when it comes to our careers and lives:
1. Live life to its fullest and have lots of great adventures and memories later in life, or
2. Don't live life, don't take risks, do what everyone else does, and have lots of regrets later in life.
I chose number one.
Which do you choose?
What is "Super State?"
First of all, thank you for visiting my blog.
Before we start, I'd like to explain what exactly I mean when I say "Super State" (sometimes also abbreviated as SS).
State is often referred to as a condition of mind, or being. In this case, I will share with you my personal techniques and strategies which have helped me eliminate stress, worry, depression, obsessive thoughts or actions, and live a life of excitement, euphoria, and fulfillment.
Today we are blessed with more technological advances, modern conveniences, advances in medicine, and career/job prospects than ever before.
But it seems that one area which our modern society has not been able to effectively answer is, "How can one live a rewarding and happy life?"
This blog's main purpose then, is to discuss how one can use simple mental and spiritual processes to help create the kind of life he or she wants to live, and get rid of negative or ineffective thoughts, actions and states...hence the name, "Super State."
Essentially, this is a self-help and personal development blog, which I have created to help those who want to live life to its fullest and experience things many only dream of, whether in their personal life, career, or relationships.
If used correctly, and responsibly, what I am about to share with you will increase your enjoyment of life and satisfaction of daily events to a degree which you may not have thought was possible.
However, this is not easy work! It will take a lot of effort, and a willingness to change your thinking. Being flexible is very important, because what you are going to find is that the more you accept yourself and the changes that will take place inside of you, the more you will be able to bend, twist, and create a reality which you are comfortable with!
The mind...this world...modern society...reality, are all malleable. If you believe what I have just said, then please join me for a quest to actualize ourselves and improve our lives and those of others around us. And even if you don't believe, I invite you to join me, even if only for a moment, to see if you could indeed make your life even better than now and help yourself do all the things you ever wanted to do but never thought was possible.
One thing to keep in mind is, my ideas, thoughts, and methods are natural, emphathetic, non-dogmatic, holistic, and certainly drug-free. What this means to you is, I write from a position of understanding, peace, and I don't judge others.
There is nothing more that would make me happy than to see that I am helping others create the kind of reality and life they always wanted, and in the process learning from others on how best to improve my own life.
I shall be regularly adding entries to this blog, and I invite you to subscribe to it and pass it on to your friends, family, co-workers, and anyone else you know who may benefit. Also, I would appreciate hearing your comments and/or questions.
Thank you, and now...toward Super State!